John Howard Burrito

The following indicates an eyewitness account of the events following Labor's victory in the 2007 election, and the confrontation between Kevin Rudd and prime minister John Howard.

"John, the time has come. Your reign has ended."

"Your right, theres no point to anything anymore, if I cant beat the bloody lefty laborists then I can never achieve anything in life" John Howard could barely sob the words out.

"Don't say that John. You won the past four terms, your just one term away from Putin levels of authoritarianism" Rudd brushed his hands around John's neck, he could almost taste the salty tears of despair from his fingertips.

"Why don't we go out for a quick lunch break" said Rudd, trying to comfort John.

"Ew thats gay, im not gay, I am not gay I swear, authorised by John Howard for Liberal Party Canberra."

Rudd could tell that there was now no hope left for Howard. He could feel the contempt searing through his veins, the envy, the hate. Howard slowly turned his head up to Rudd, as now no more than a petty man, cycling through all the stages of grief right there in his seat. Rudd knew he had to act quickly if he was to stop the situation from escalating, something the Murdoch media could easily play into their hands and twist to their agenda 'Labor leader Kevin Rudd provokes based former prime minister John Howard into a valiant fit of rage' Rudd could almost sense Murdochs goons ready at their stations back in Sydney to write that article in a heartbeat.

Kevin Rudd knew what he had to do. Based Bob Hawke could sense the tension in the air and rode a kangaroo over right there to the scene, and he granted his based power over to Kevin, who was now about to go based supersayan (or whatever its called I dont watch anime). Super based Kevin with all his based power could now manage to use it to convert the lifeforce of John Howard into that, of the commonly eaten and widespread mexican food, being a burrito.

Many years later into the Gillard prime ministership, Rudd explained the events that transpired on that fateful day.

"I kid you not Gill, I turned him into a pickle, funniest shit I've ever seen"

"That's very based of you Rudd, Although I'd hate to be the poor soul to have to eat such a crusty and dry burrito, that's for sure."

"Nah don't worry I fed him to clive palmer two years ago, the pain of being slowly digested in his disfunctional bladder would have served a just punishment."

"Living the last two weeks of your life as a shit of Clive Palmer, rotting in the Queensland sun may perhaps be the worst way to go." Gillard said looking out to the shitty nothingness of regional ACT.

- Made by Albo from Auspol discord server